Customary marriages can only end if there is a court order. The same grounds for divorce that apply for civil marriages now apply to customary marriages. In other words if the court agrees that there has been an 'irretrievable breakdown' of the marriage then it will agree to dissolve the marriage. The spouses are free to settle on any terms they choose, but the court will make an order regarding the custody and guardianship of any minor children and may make an order for maintenance to be paid, taking into account any arrangement that may have been made in terms of customary law.

In terms of the customary agreement between the spouses, the wife's family may have to return at least part of the lobola to the husband's family. If the husband publicly rejects his wife for no reason at all, he will not get any lobola back. But if the husband has what is considered a just reason to reject his wife he may ask for the lobola back.

A husband may be considered to have good reason for rejecting his wife if she neglects her duties in the home, or neglects her children, or denies him sexual intercourse. If the wife sometimes sleeps with another man, this may not be considered enough reason for a man to reject her, but continual unfaithfulness may be considered a good reason for ending the union.

A wife may be considered to have good reason for deserting her husband if he accuses her falsely of witchcraft, or ill-treats her unreasonably or abandons her.